Helping Kids Deal With Bullies

Helping Kids Deal With Bullies

A bully can make something as simple as going to the bus stop or recess a nightmare for children. Bullying has the potential to cause profound emotional wounds. In severe cases, it might include threats of violence, property destruction, or someone being gravely injured.

If your child is being bullied, you want to do everything you can to stop it. You can assist your kid in coping with teasing, bullying, or malicious gossip and reduce the long-term effects. Even if bullying isn’t a problem in your home right now, it’s vital to talk about it so your children are prepared if it arises.


When Does Bullying Become Bullying?

At some time, every child is taunted by a sibling or a friend. When done in a playful, pleasant, and reciprocal manner, it is typically not damaging, and both children find it amusing. When teasing becomes nasty, rude, and persistent, it becomes bullying and must be stopped.

Bullying is the deliberate torturing of another person in physical, verbal, or psychological means. It can take many forms, including beating, shoving, name-calling, threats, and ridiculing, as well as extortion of money and property. Some children bully others by avoiding them and spreading false information about them. Others utilize social media or text messages to tease or damage others’ sentiments.

It’s critical to treat bullying seriously rather than dismissing it as something that children must “tough out.” The consequences can be severe, affecting children’s feelings of safety and self-worth. Bullying has been linked to catastrophes such as suicides and school fights in the past.


Why Do Children Bully Each Other?

Bullying occurs for a variety of causes among children. They may target children because they require a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears differently in some manner — in order to feel more important, popular, or in command. Bullies aren’t necessarily bigger or stronger than their victims.

Because of how they’ve been handled, some children harass others. They may believe their actions are typical since they come from families or other environments where everyone gets upset and screams or calls each other names on a daily basis. People are “voted off,” ostracized, or humiliated for their looks or lack of talent on several famous TV shows, which appears to foster meanness.


What Are Bullying’s Symptoms?

It’s difficult to determine whether your child is being bullied unless he or she tells you about it or has obvious bruises or injuries.

However, there are several red flags. Parents may observe that their children:

  • Not eating, sleeping well, or doing the activities they typically like seem differently or appear nervous appear moodier or more easily irritated than usual avoid certain situations (like taking the bus to school)

If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to talk about it, think of creative methods to bring it up. For example, you may ask, “What do you think of this?” or “What do you think that individual should have done?” after seeing a situation on TV. “Have you ever seen this happen?” or “Have you ever experienced this?” could be some of the inquiries that arise. You might wish to talk about any childhood events you or a family member experienced.

Make it clear to your children that if they are being bullied or harassed — or witness it happening to someone else — they should tell someone, whether it’s you, another adult (a teacher, school counselor, or family friend), or a sibling.


What Role Can Parents Play?

Listen quietly and provide comfort and support if your child tells you that he or she has been bullied. Kids are frequently hesitant to inform adults about bullying because they are embarrassed and humiliated that it is occurring, or they are concerned that their parents would be disappointed, sad, angry, or reactive if they do.

Sometimes children believe that it is their fault, that things would be different if they looked or acted differently. They’re sometimes afraid that if the bully finds out they told, things will grow worse. Others are concerned that their parents will not believe them or take action. Alternatively, children may be concerned that their parents may pressure them to fight back when they are afraid to.

By talking to you about it, praise your youngster for doing the right thing. Reassure your youngster that they are not alone; many individuals are bullied at some time in their lives. Explain that the bully, not your child, is behaving inappropriately. Assure your youngster that you will work together to find a solution.

In studies, the majority of children and teenagers agree that bullying occurs at school. Inform someone at school about the problem (principal, school nurse, counselor, or teacher). They can often keep an eye on things and take action to prevent problems from escalating.

Because “bullying” can refer to a variety of scenarios, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. What works in one circumstance might not work in another. The age of the children involved, the severity of the problem, and the type of bullying behaviors will all play a role in determining the best course of action.

If you hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out your child told or if physical damage is threatened, take it seriously. It might be beneficial to approach the bully’s parents on occasion. However, in most instances, instructors or counselors should be contacted first. If you’ve exhausted those options and still want to meet with the bullying child’s parents, it’s preferable to do so in the presence of a school official who can mediate, such as a counselor.

Anti-bullying policies and initiatives are commonplace here at Ladela. Bullying laws and regulations exist. Learn about the laws that apply to your neighborhood. You may need to notify legal authorities if you have significant worries about your child’s safety.


Advice for Kids

If bullying occurs, parents may assist their children in learning how to cope with it. It may be tempting for some parents to advise their children to fight back. After all, you’re upset that your child is suffering, and you may have been encouraged as a youngster to “stand up for yourself.” Alternatively, you may be concerned that your child may be bullied in the future and believe that fighting back is the only way to put a bully in their place.

However, it is critical to educate children not to fight or bully back in response to bullying. It has the potential to swiftly devolve into violence, chaos, and injury. Instead, move away from the scene, socialize with others, and inform an adult.

Here are some additional ways youngsters might feel better and improve their situation:

  • Use the buddy system to avoid the bully. If a bully is around, use a separate bathroom, and don’t go to your locker if no one else is there. Make sure you have someone with you so you don’t have to face the bully alone. On the bus, in the corridors, at recess — wherever the bully is — team up with a friend. Offer to help a buddy in the same way.


  • Keep your rage in check. It’s normal to be offended by the bully, but bullies live on it. It gives them a sense of authority. Practice not weeping or looking red or angry as a reaction. It takes a lot of effort, but it’s a valuable talent for avoiding a bully’s attention. Counting to ten, writing down angry words, taking deep breaths, or walking away are some of the “cool down” methods that youngsters find helpful. Teaching children to keep their faces calm until they are free of any danger is sometimes the best thing to do (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).
  • Act brave, move away, and don’t pay attention to the bully. Tell the bully to come to a halt and then walk away. Act disinterested or contact someone on your mobile to distract yourself from the unpleasant words. You’re demonstrating that you don’t care by ignoring the bully. The bully will probably grow tired of bothering you at some point.
  • Inform an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and school lunchroom staff may all play a role in preventing bullying.
  • It’s something to talk about. Speak with a trusted adult such as a guidance counselor, teacher, brother, or friend. They might be able to provide some useful advice. Even if they are unable to resolve the problem, they may be able to make you feel less alone.


Building Confidence

Bullying may have a negative impact on a child’s self-esteem. Encourage your children to spend time with peers who have a good impact to help repair it. Participating in organizations, sports, and other fun activities strengthens individuals and fosters connections.

Provide a sympathetic ear in difficult times, but also urge your children to tell you about the positive aspects of their day and to listen carefully. Assure them that you believe in them and that you will do all possible to stop any bullying.


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The Level 3 International Foundation Diploma for Higher Education Studies is a nine-month, pre-university qualification accredited by NCC Education, a leading UK awarding organisation in IT and Business.

Many UK universities recognise the Level 3 International Diploma for Higher Education Studies as an entry qualification to BA, BSc or BEng degree courses. You can also apply to universities in the USA, Canada, Ireland and Australia.

10 things every parent can do to keep their kids safe online

10 things every parent can do to keep their kids safe online

As parents, we usually try our best to ensure our children are safe and well, from slips, slopes, slaps before going out in the sun, to be careful when they cross a road and always wear a helmet when riding. But what are you doing to safeguard children against bullies, pedophiles and unsuitable internet content?

Let’s face it: the internet is here to stay, and with 83% of Nigerian adolescents using the internet three or more times each day (and this number is growing as more teens acquire smartphones), it’s time to add some cyber safety knowledge to your parenting arsenal, if you haven’t already. Here are some pointers to help you get started.


1.  Talk about your child’s online activities openly.

Talk to your child about what they’re reading, viewing, and talking with online as soon as they start using it, and continue the conversation as they become older. Ask your kid what websites or applications they use, make a list, and go through it with them. Talk to your kid about what you believe is appropriate, and remind them that other parents and their children may have different ideas.

Pay attention to your youngster and come to an understanding about what is best for your family. Remember that there will come a day when kids will need to use the internet outside of the protection of their own home, and you want them to be ready.

It’s also crucial to teach children about their online reputation and how they should behave, engage with others, and represent themselves in such a public arena. They must constantly keep in mind that the internet is public.


2.  Keep screens and devices where you can see them.

Always keep an eye on your child’s online activity, especially if they are young. Place the computer in a central location in the house so you can easily monitor what your youngster is doing and watching online. You may set your mobile devices to forget Wi-Fi passcodes so that your children can’t browse online without your knowledge. You may also try to come to an agreement that no tablets, computers, or gaming devices are allowed in bedrooms.

If your child is younger, you might want to check their browser history after they’ve been online to see what sites they’ve visited. As children become older and learn how to erase their records, this method becomes more difficult, which is all the more reason to open the channels of conversation regarding internet use at a young age.


3.  Be familiar with your parental controls.

Innocent online searches can lead to less-than-innocent outcomes, therefore it’s important to understand how to use the parental controls/search limitations provided by web browsers, internet service providers, and gadgets. Google’s SafeSearch Filters, for example, will filter sites that contain explicit sexual content. Go to Settings/SafeSearch Filters to enable it. Parental controls can assist prevent your kid from seeing and accessing most violent or sexual material, however they are not 100% accurate.


4.  Be aware of your children’s internet pals.

As adults, we are aware that some individuals on the internet are not who they claim to be, but children and teenagers may be alarmingly naive about who they are speaking with if they are not trained to be cyber savvy from a young age.

Make friends and connections in your child’s social media circles, and keep an eye on what they’re posting. Your children may object, but explain that this is one of the requirements you must meet before granting them access.


5.  Protect your privacy by being careful of what you disclose.

If your kid is a frequent user of social media, they should be informed that posting personal information or photos exposes them to the danger of it being made public. You should teach children to be cautious and mindful about what they post and share online, even if they don’t completely comprehend the repercussions of disclosing personal information online. Encourage your children to consider if the information (i.e. name, phone number, home address, email, school name) or photo they are uploading is something they would provide to a stranger before publishing it. Don’t post it if the answer is no.

If your child is sharing photographs or posts on social media, ask them to show you what they’re posting, or have an older sibling verify any photos before they’re posted.


6.  Maintain control over your family’s online presence.

Every photo and personal detail published on social media and the internet contributes to an individual’s digital footprint. The main danger here is that once information is published publicly, it may be utilized in unexpected and uncontrollable ways. You should also consider that everything you post on the internet is permanent (it can sometimes be deleted but not always before others have seen it and saved it). As a result, children and young people must exercise caution when it comes to safeguarding their photos and information. The same may be said for parents who share photographs of their children on social media on a frequent basis.

Teach your youngster to keep their digital footprint under control by only sharing with individuals they know and trust. Encourage them to be selective and utilize the privacy settings on the social media platforms they use rather than publishing to all of their friends.


7.  Teach your children the importance of keeping their whereabouts a secret.

Geo-tagging is a feature found in most applications, networks, and gadgets that makes your location public and can bring someone to you. These functionalities should be disabled for obvious reasons of privacy and security. Metadata (information regarding the time, date, and GPS locations) in digital pictures may disclose more than you want. Some social media networks, but not all, automatically conceal or delete this information, so do your research and know how much information you’re giving.


8.  Keep track of how much time your kids spend online.

According to the Nigerian Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines, children aged five to seventeen should spend no more than two hours a day watching television. As a result, it’s critical to keep an eye on your child’s internet activity, especially if they’re younger, to ensure they don’t establish harmful habits. Set a timer to go off and get your kids to agree on a length of time, say 30 minutes every session. Don’t forget to make this a non-negotiable end time. You should also turn off the house Wi-Fi at a specific period each night (preferably before sleep) so that everyone can take a break from the computer. You may also try making some days in your house ‘screen-free’ to encourage everyone to engage in more active and/or less technology-based forms of entertainment.


9.  Be #SocialNetworkSavvy

Educate yourself on how to be safe on social media so you can give your children the greatest advice. Learn how to utilize the privacy settings and reporting methods on the social networks and applications that your children use. Discuss how they can keep safe on social media, such as communicating to a trusted adult if they are concerned, and understanding what constitutes online bullying, both as a perpetrator and as a victim.

If your child uses social media, make sure they know how to do the following:

  • Please report any posts that are improper or offensive.
  • Keep information secret by blocking someone.


 10.  Set a good example.

Set a good example for your children by modeling the sort of healthy online behavior you want them to exhibit. They are more likely to follow in your footsteps if they witness you being careful and respectful online. Yes, this includes setting a screen time limit for yourself.

Finally, you don’t want to instill fear in your kid or prevent them from taking use of the internet’s numerous educational, entertainment, social, and other advantages; rather, you want to equip them with the skills and information they need to make the most of it while avoiding the risks.


Level 3 International Foundation Diploma for Higher Education

The Level 3 International Foundation Diploma for Higher Education Studies is a nine-month, pre-university qualification accredited by NCC Education, a leading UK awarding organisation in IT and Business.

Many UK universities recognise the Level 3 International Diploma for Higher Education Studies as an entry qualification to BA, BSc or BEng degree courses. You can also apply to universities in the USA, Canada, Ireland and Australia.